UnPreschool
by luckymommy
for MotherSpirit
My first thoughts of homeschooling my daughter happened when she was just a few months old. They increased with both her sister and her brother. With everything I kept hearing, I knew that I didn’t want them in public school. I thought I was being a little odd to be thinking of it so early, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. Occasionally I would talk myself out of even thinking about it. Then when I would start to think of it again, I would be insecure and unsure of my ability to teach my children anything. One of the reasons I felt this way was because I am not the best about creating a schedule, and I kept thinking of school at home. My mother recounted her horror stories of trying to teach my brother to read. Every session would end with both of them in tears. Even then he refused to learn to read until he was 8 years old, and the only reason he did then was because my Grandmother gave him a special book that he loved. It was such an important book to him that he taught himself to read with it. When I doubted myself (and subsequently my children) I would start to consider public school, and private school. I checked out the cost for different private schools in our area. The more I looked the more I knew we couldn’t afford it.
Then I was introduced to unschooling. It made so much sense to me. If my child can learn how to talk just going about our daily activities, why couldn’t she learn math, reading and writing? Once you learn the basics you can go as far as you want. After all, even with “trained teachers” my brother still learned at his own pace. I talked to my husband, Sione, about this style. He wasn’t very excited about it. He thought it sounded like what his parents had done to him during his 2 years of “homeschool.” His mom would send them to one of the bedrooms, which had been converted into a schoolroom of sorts, every morning. She would leave them in there with their books all day long, except for lunch. Sione, his brother and sister didn’t learn much, if anything. He knew that homeschooling done properly would work, but he wanted me to do school at home. We struck a deal. If Julie knew the basics of reading, writing and math before she reached Kindergarten age, then we could homeschool the way I wanted.
I was really nervous, because I knew that I couldn’t push her into learning when that was the opposite of how I wanted our learning to be. After all, what good would it do if I used a different style than what I planned? So I primed our house to be as much of a learning environment as I knew how. I started up a homeschool art/science playgroup for once a week. Homeschooled friends and non-homeschooled friends come over, and each family takes a turn being in charge of a fun activity to help us open our minds to new things.
I am reading the Little House on the Prairie series to them, and the girls love it. I purchased workbooks; my mom gave workbooks as presents. They sit in the girl’s bookcase with all of their other books. If the girls want me to read to them, I do. If they want to do work from their books, they do. They are always the ones to ask. We play games in the car if the girls want, instead of having the radio on. We play “What sound does this letter make?” and “How much do you have if...” and “What is the first letter in the word...” They help me count the ingredients into recipes. Bread with all of the cups of flour, is wonderful for learning the higher numbers, especially if you use 1/4 cup. Julie took a special interest in writing letters to people. She wrote her own letter to Santa. She wrote invitations to come play, to her cousins. She wrote letters to her dad if we were leaving the house, and she was worried he would come home and not know where we were. I didn’t make a big deal out of her workbooks, I must admit I was really excited about her writing but I tried to not make a big deal about it. I wanted her to learn because she wanted to learn, not because she wanted to hear praise from me. I would praise her for her acts of kindness, or for choosing the right in any given situation.
She started reading about a month ago. I felt so much relief knowing I wouldn’t have to convince Sione of unschooling anymore, he is converted. She would have started Kindergarten next fall. It has been nice knowing I won’t have to stress over whether the teachers go on strike again, like they did just this year. I don’t have to fear for my child when I hear of the fourth grader who had a gun at our local elementary school. I don’t need to worry about her being abducted or molested on her way to, from, or while she is at school. A few months ago, I had one of my sister-in-laws tell me how wrong it is of me to homeschool. After all it takes funding away from the schools. I should leave my children in school and tell them how I want my child to learn. Her next sentence was about how they need to stop child sex offenders by making it known to the public who these children are. I thought it ironic that she naturally jumped from school to child sex offenders, and it only made my resolve that much stronger.
As I read more books, and educate myself more on unschooling, I am increasingly confident in my role as a mother, a learning enabler, and a protector to my children. It is such an extension of everything I have incorporated into my parenting philosophy. I trust my children to know when it is right for them to graduate from diapers, and when it is right for them to move on from nursing, and the family bed. Why wouldn’t I trust them to know when it is right for them to read, write and learn to count?